National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) just released Mama Says: A National Survey of Moms’ Attitudes on Fathering, the first-ever national survey taking an in-depth look at how today’s mothers view fathers and fatherhood.
Top findings:
:: 93% of moms believe there is a father absence crisis.
:: Most moms think dad is replaceable.
:: Married moms were happier with dads’ performance than unmarried moms.
Link: study: Tips to reduce the likelihood that children will ever drugs
via Washington Times: 1) Keep lines of communication open with your children. 2) Stay connected (without micromanaging), and, especially, keep Dad engaged. 3) Set good personal examples; model the behaviors you want to see. 4) Set reasonable rules and enforce them without being punitive. 5) Know where your children are and who their friends are. 6) Eat dinner together regularly. Sharing good food is certainly wonderful, but the “magic” in eating together stems from the undivided attention and “face time” it creates for everyone. 7) Cultivate a religious life as a family. 8) Stay connected to a larger community.
Link: Troops’ families feel weight of war
Statistics are showing a trend in broken military marriages. The Pentagon says divorce rates among enlisted soldiers and Marines increased to about 4% in 2008, a full percentage point jump from when the Iraq war began. The civilian rate is 3.5%, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Researchers tracking 226 Army marriages at Fort Campbell, Ky., last year, found that 6% ended in divorce and that nearly 12% of the couples either became divorced or separated, according to results provided to USA TODAY. Troops in combat who worry their marriages might be failing rose from one in four in 2005 to one in three in 2007, according to an Army study published last year that examined mental health issues plaguing combat troops. More than 250,000 active-duty soldiers are married.
Link: study: Nature of South Africa’s traditional family is changing
An estimated 40% of South Africa’s 18 million children are being raised by single mothers as the nature of the country’s traditional family changes. Seven million children are growing up with single mothers, outnumbering the 6.8 million — about 23% of the country’s children — who live with both parents. Indian children are most fortunate, with 82% living with both parents. White children follow closely at 80%, but 52% of coloured kids and almost seven out of 10 Africans grow up without a father figure in the house. These findings are reported in the South African Institute of Race Relations’ latest Fast Facts survey on SA families. Another stand out feature in the survey shows how the number of double orphans had doubled from 352 000 to 701 000, the high number attributed mainly to HIV/Aids. With South Africa ranked fourth in terms of orphan numbers in Africa, the survey expects the number of orphans to skyrocket to 5.7 million by 2015.
Link: Let’s end disposable marriage
via Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears: As a judge I have long held a front row seat to the wreckage left behind by our culture of disposable marriage and casual divorce that my brother so despised. No-fault divorce was a response to a very real problem. The social and legal landscape that preceded it largely prevented casual divorce, but it often trapped people in abusive marriages. It also turned divorces into even uglier affairs than they are today, forcing people to expose in court damaging information about their children’s other parent. That system was intolerable, and we should never go back to that. But no-fault divorce’s broad acceptance as an unquestioned social good helped usher in an era that fundamentally altered the seriousness with which marriage is viewed. It effectively ended marriage as a legal contract since either party can terminate it, with or without cause. This leaves many people struggling to remake their lives after painful divorces that they do not want. It also left many parents cut off from, or sidelined in, the lives of the children they love…Of course, there are occasions when divorce is necessary. And not everyone should marry. But it has become too easy for people to walk away from their families and commitments without a real regard for the gravity of their decision and the consequences for other people, particularly children. Removing no-fault divorce as a legal option may not be the right way to move forward, and the solutions we need may not be entirely legal in nature. But answers must be found. The coupling and uncoupling we’ve become accustomed to undermines our democracy, destroys our families and devastates the lives of our children, who are not as resilient as we may wish to think. The one-parent norm, which is necessary and successful in many cases, nevertheless often creates a host of other problems, from poverty to crime, teen pregnancy and drug abuse.
What’s you vision for the future?
Hope this video inspires you to be the change we need.
Link: study: The One Hundred Billion Dollar Man
The federal government spends $99.8 billion dollars every year on programs – such as child support enforcement and anti-poverty efforts – that support father-absent homes. Download Full Study PDF (1.7 M)
Family time? We can spare 45 minutes for a TV dinner.
The findings, from a poll of 3,000 children and parents, signal a deterioration of the family unit. An average family manages to get together for just 45 minutes a day, the poll found. And most of that time is spent either in front of the TV or eating. (link)
Link: Who is to blame for rise in adolescent STDs among UK kids?
Children infected with diseases through having unprotected sex have reached unprecedented levels in the UK. Whilst the finger is being pointed at the government, others insist that shrinking moral standards are to blame. An increase in the number of under 16-year-olds in Great Britain with a sexually transmitted disease has risen by a monstrous 58 percent. Many are blaming the government for the extraordinary increase, not only for their “complacent and lax” attitude when it comes to informing the young about sexual health, but also for slashing public health spending in recent years. Schools providing insufficient sex education are also regarded as contributing to the alarming levels of youngsters contracting infections like herpes and Chlamydia. But can the responsibility lie solely in the hands of the government and teachers? Or are the youngsters of today merely a product a society in which monogamous relationships and marriage have taken a back seat?
What Your Parents’ Marriage Means To You
Melanie Mannarino from Redbook and psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz discuss what you can learn from looking closely at your parents’ marriage.
Related: Have dull marriage? // Smart Marriages
