In Marriage, Worse First Can Mean Better Later
Surviving the gauntlet of misfortune early in a relationship can be a valuable litmus test, say counselors. A relationship crisis “smashes the illusion of invulnerability,” says William Doherty, a psychologist and marriage researcher.
Link: Read full TIME Article
Now this is what I call an entrance!
In his book Fighting for Your Marriage, marriage researcher Dr. Howard Markman reports that the amount of fun couples had together emerged as the single strongest factor in their overall marital happiness.
Congrats to this couple! May the continue having fun ‘as long as they both shall live.’
Link: The Too-Good Marriage: A Super Marriage FAIL
Do you know a couple who seems to have it all? Experts explain why the perfect couple might have more problems than you think. 3 Less-Than-Perfect Couples: The No-Argument Couple: By not fighting, you’re not engaging each other, says Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and co-founder of Imago Relationship Therapy, and that may be due to a fear of intimacy. The Attached-at-the-Hip Couple: By all accounts, you get along famously. But “fused” pairs, Hendrix says, may harbor a fear of separation and can blend together with such strong dependence that they lack any kind of individual identity. The Two Mega-Paycheck Couple: Ultrabusy partners “need to schedule time together — set it aside, have it weekly — in a way that both are declaring that they hold their relationship precious and are giving it priority…” (Read Article)
Married 60 years+
Leo and Muriel Pope (from left), Virgil and Rosella Dalton, and Lois and Meredith Salyer know the secret to an enduring marriage as all 3 couples are residents of Country Club Manor in Eustis, and all have been married for more than 60 years. (Read Article)
Link: Repairing marriage bonds key to recovering from gambling addiction
Problem gambling can shake every aspect of one’s life – particularly a marriage, which can crumble under the weight of financial stress and betrayal. But Dr. Bonnie Lee says the relationship between gambling and marital stress isn’t as straightforward as many assume. “Most people think linearly, ‘Look what problem gambling did,’” argues the assistant professor in the Addictions Counselling program in the School of Health Sciences. “They’re less aware that maybe those problems were there in the first place.” “These couples had problems in their relationships – I call them ‘fault lines’ – far before the gambling problems began.” Lee thinks helping gamblers and depressed individuals in the context of couple therapy can pay huge dividends. By repairing the foundation of a couple’s relationship, one makes available to both partners an invaluable life resource in support and understanding that bolsters recovery.
New Zealand: Couples $15,000 worse off
Family First says the Government’s ‘perverse disincentives’ encourage couples to separate. Married couples are being penalised by nearly $15,000 a year for choosing to stay together.
Family First released a report in October (also produced by NZIER) estimating family breakdowns and decreasing marriage rates were costing the taxpayer at least $1 billion a year. (Read full article)
Research finds people more likely to argue about money in bed
Dr Sheila Keegan, a chartered psychologist with consultancy Campbell Keegan, said the results demonstrated the need for honesty within relationships.
“There are also husbands and wives who still haven’t told each other about debts or savings they have kept hidden after years of marriage.”
Social psychologist Dr Alicia Renedo added: “For women it is natural to want openness about money in a relationship and for both men and women it is important to be able to manage money at all times, not just at the bank.” (Read full article)
